IMG_1249I like to be in control. I enjoy making plans and following schedules. These last few months have reminded me time and time again that the only thing I can control is my attitude and my actions.

As caregivers, I think when we can accept that the disease, disability, or pain is in control, it becomes easier to shift, adjust and adapt to the things that happen each day.

We’ve had a hard week. Alex developed an inflamed nerve after back surgery. He got a steroid injection in the spine on Wednesday morning. It stopped the pain, but in the afternoon he lost consciousness for a few minutes, which led to an 8-hour stint in the ER. This morning the pain is back.

I’ve been repeating my mother’s mantra a lot lately. I heard her say at least a thousand times, “As long as I have the ability to think and reason, I have the power to choose my attitude toward any person, thing, or event.”

So today, knowing that the only thing I can control is my attitude and actions, I’m choosing to willingly and lovingly do whatever I can do to help. I’ve put icepacks on the places that hurt the most. I’ve called the doctor’s office. I’ll fix good meals and bring in flowers to freshen up the room. I’ll put everything else on hold and sit with Alex today in an attempt to keep his spirits up. And as I do all of this, I will remind myself that the pain is in control – not me.