Find a Caregiving Buddy
Find a Caregiving Buddy to Lighten the Load
Caregiving can be a lonely journey. Having a caregiving buddy––someone who understands and will laugh and cry with you can make the burden feel a little lighter.
Last fall I met Hannah, a wiry little woman who appeared to be in her late 70’s. She came up to me on a break and said, “I want to tell you my story.”
Hannah’s husband has dementia, and she has been taking care of him and their small farm for over ten years. Earlier in the week, a storm had toppled an enormous pecan tree on their property.
She said, “It blocked the path to my chickens, so I went out to the shop and got […]
I experienced person-centered care a few years ago my husband had back surgery. When he came out of recovery he had tubes going into and coming out of every part of his body. He was in tremendous pain, and I was very concerned. Wanting to provide a little comfort, I loaded some of his favorite music onto an iPod.
Remembering Aunt Jean
According to a 2015 study by AARP Institute for Public Policy and the National Caregiving Alliance, there are nearly 44 million people in the US who are providing unpaid care for loved one who cannot care for themselves.
Caring for a spouse is difficult under the best of circumstances. But if your spouse has made irresponsible decisions that have put you in financial peril, is in failing health, and refuses to take care of him/herself, how do you avoid slipping into an abyss of despair or living in a state of perpetual anger?
Planning for incapacity and death isn’t fun. Making decisions about end-of-life care and determining how you want your belongings and money distributed after your death is emotionally upsetting and unsettling. That’s one of the reasons why a lot of people don’t make plans. It’s also one of the reasons I was surprised when my old 89-year-old Aunt Jean asked me to make an appointment with a funeral home so she could prepay her funeral expenses. I have to admit, I never thought there was anything funny about planning a funeral until I took Aunt Jean to plan hers. 
I was inspired when I heard Dr. Maya Angelou speak at a conference shortly before her death. She said, “Courage is the most important of all virtues.” She went on to say that we make decisions to be kind, loving, and generous. We can do those things most of the time, but it takes a tremendous and ongoing commitment to be courageous. 
The sacrifices of caregiving are almost too numerous to list, and maintaining the balance between your family life and your caregiving responsibilities is often a very tricky journey. 
There’s a big difference between caregiving and enabling. Nurturing is part of a caregiver’s nature, but trying to fix everything, solve everything and do everything for our care receivers isn’t always in their best interest. It also puts you, the caregiver, on a fast track to burnout.