Professional Caregivers & Grief
How Professional Caregivers Grieve the Death of a Resident
Last week when I spoke at the Pennsylvania Assisted Living Association spring conference, I talked about the grief professional caregivers experience when a resident dies.
I shared several stories, including one about my Grandpa Stan who suffered a stroke late in life. The stroke robbed Grandpa of his independence and the ability to do almost everything that brought him pleasure. To say he was cantankerous the last few years of his life would be a phenomenal understatement.
And yet, there was a laundry lady in the nursing facility who demonstrated to us, through a simple act of kindness, that Grandpa deserved to be shown respect––even in death.
I regret that […]
My dad suffered a debilitating stroke on October 30, 1993. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer the following day. He died on July 27, 1999. 
Caregiver grief is complicated. When a loved one gets diagnosed with a terminal illness, we enter Preparatory grief, which is the process of adapting and adjusting to ongoing losses and changes. As we go through Preparatory grief, we mourn the loss of what we once had. We grieve the loss of the life that we hoped to be living at this point in our lives, and we grieve the losses that we know are still ahead. When the end finally does come after a long, progressive decline, our grief changes. 
It’s not unusual for people to minimize caregiver grief when they hear someone talk about the sadness they feel as they witness the decline of an elderly parent.
