Three Steps to Overcoming Caregiver Fear
How Awareness, Acceptance & Taking Action Can Help You Overcome Caregiver Fear
Most caregivers fear how bad it’s going to get, how long it’s going to last, and how much it’s going to cost. We worry about what will happen if our care receiver’s condition worsens and we can no longer care for them ourselves. We worry about finding help or having to move out of our homes. We fear what our life will be like when our loved one dies, and sometimes we worry that we will die before they do. These are all legitimate fears, and if thoughts like these are keeping you awake at night, here are three steps that might help you feel more […]
Caregivers experience a lot of difficult emotions, including anger, guilt, depression and grief. I recently wrote an article for Stroke Connection Magazine about overcoming caregiver guilt. If you are tired of feeling guilty for things you’ve done or said, or for the way you feel toward your care receiver, I hope you’ll click on the link below to get some tips on how stop feeling guilty when you have not intentionally inflicted physical or emotional pain on someone else. 
Maintaining a positive mental attitude as a caregiver doesn’t just happen. It takes conscious effort and a willingness to filter out the negativity in your life.
Caregiver multi-tasking seems like a necessity. Like mothers of small children, caregivers have to become adept at multi-tasking. Otherwise, how would we ever get anything done? However, when we’re constantly doing one thing and our minds are occupied with what we need to do next, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Our frustration can lead to emotional outbursts that can be scary to the people around us. 
My dad suffered a debilitating stroke on October 30, 1993. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer the following day. He died on July 27, 1999. 
There are caregiver recognition weeks and months, and sometimes there are awards given at banquets to a caregiver who has done something amazing, but when you’re in the trenches and caring for someone who has a chronic condition, it can feel like like the hardest, most thankless job you’ve ever done.
One summer evening my husband and I enjoyed having dinner at a restaurant overlooking Tumwater Falls in the state of Washington. As I sat there and watched the river, I was mesmerized by how calm and still the water appeared on the surface – until the moment it fell over the edge. Then it crashed and splashed in a magnificent display of chaotic energy. 
When I spoke at a caregiving conference in Seattle, a woman shared a story with me that took my breath away. 
One day a young friend who cares for his grandmother said, “You need to tell people that caring for another person isn’t emasculating.” He has an cousin who doesn’t want people to know his job is caring for his mother. His wife is the primary wage earner, and he thinks being a caregiver isn’t very “manly”. 
When you spend the bulk of your time and energy caring for others, it becomes critically important to set boundaries. When you decide what you need to do to take care of yourself and you draw a firm line in the sand, other people will eventually accept and respect your limits.