Person-Centered Care
A Nurse’s Kindness
I experienced person-centered care a few years ago my husband had back surgery. When he came out of recovery he had tubes going into and coming out of every part of his body. He was in tremendous pain, and I was very concerned. Wanting to provide a little comfort, I loaded some of his favorite music onto an iPod.
Wally, the night nurse, popped into the room and exclaimed, “Acoustic guitar! That’s awesome!” and then he asked, “Is that Otmar Leibert?” I nodded, and he said, “I love that guy!” He spent a couple of minutes with us. He asked some personal questions about Alex, and he told us a few things about himself, including the fact that he played the […]
When most of us repeat our wedding vows, especially when we’re young, it’s easy to imagine and anticipate the “better,” “the richer,” and the “in health” portion of the ceremony. I have wondered if anyone would actually go through with it if they understood how difficult maintaining a lifelong commitment can be.
My question was answered last fall when I spoke at a caregiving conference in Santa Barbara, California where I met Jo Bakker, an elegant woman, who was very well acquainted with the “worse” and “sickness” portions of the vows she had taken fifty-seven years earlier. Jo had been caring for Tom, her 83-year-old husband, who had been suffering from the 
Living with a terminal illness is extraordinarily difficult, especially when you are faced with choosing between continuing life-extending treatments or going into hospice care. I don’t think either choice is wrong, but I do think it’s important for each of us to think about which path would work best for us and for the people who love us.
According to a 2015 study by AARP Institute for Public Policy and the National Caregiving Alliance, there are nearly 44 million people in the US who are providing unpaid care for loved one who cannot care for themselves.
Caring for a spouse is difficult under the best of circumstances. But if your spouse has made irresponsible decisions that have put you in financial peril, is in failing health, and refuses to take care of him/herself, how do you avoid slipping into an abyss of despair or living in a state of perpetual anger?
Caring for elderly parents is challenging, even when they are cooperative and appreciative. But if you’re caring for a mother and/or father who are cranky, demanding, and unappreciative, it becomes extraordinarily difficult.
When you spend the bulk of your time and energy caring for others, it becomes critically important to set boundaries. When you decide what you need to do to take care of yourself and you draw a firm line in the sand, other people will eventually accept and respect your limits. 
I was compelled to write my first caregiver blog on Thanksgiving Day, 2013. I posted it on Facebook, and I was absolutely amazed when a few people actually saw it and clicked “Like”. 
The sacrifices of caregiving are almost too numerous to list, and maintaining the balance between your family life and your caregiving responsibilities is often a very tricky journey. 
For those of us who have become adept at managing our families, homes and careers, it can be incredibly difficult when something shifts and we have to ask for help.