1 04, 2016

Caring for Yourself While Caring for Difficult Parents

Difficult DadCaring for elderly parents is challenging, even when they are cooperative and appreciative. But if you’re caring for a mother and/or father who are cranky, demanding, and unappreciative, it becomes extraordinarily difficult.

It’s important to understand that you are no longer a child. Just because Mom tells you to do something, you don’t necessarily have to obey. If you need a little help setting boundaries and detaching from an older parent’s bad behavior, please click on this link to an article I wrote for CaringTimes – Griswold Home Care’s blog.

Caring for Yourself While Caring for Difficult Parents

 

26 03, 2015

Caring for Older People

Similarities Between Raising Children and Caring for Older People

rasing children and caring for older peopleAs I was walking out of the grocery store yesterday, I was reminded of the similarities between raising children and caring for older people when I observed a young man toting an infant in baby carrier while coaxing his three-year-old son across the parking lot. When we met at the front door, I smiled and said, “Shopping with little ones is quite the adventure!”

He said, “It certainly is. This is my only goal for the day.”

On the drive home, I flashed back thirty-some years to when I lived on a Kansas farm 25 miles from town.  My children were 3 1/2, 19 months, and 2 weeks old.  As  […]

10 03, 2015

Keeping Aging Parents Safe at Home

Resources for Keeping Aging Parents Safe at Home

Ducks in a Row #4

Keeping Aging Parents Safe at HomeKeeping aging parents safe at home often requires outside support. The following list of resources can help older people remain relatively independent and living in their familiar surroundings for as long as possible:

Adult Day Care Centers provide a tremendous service for both the caregiver and the care receiver, because they each get badly needed breaks from the other.

These centers provide a group setting where seniors and disabled individuals can go for recreation, socialization, rehabilitative therapy, meals, and health care. Services and fees vary. Financial assistance may be available, and fees are sometimes charged on a sliding scale, based on a personʼs ability to pay.

If you need […]

7 03, 2015

Conversations with Elderly Parents

Starting Uncomfortable Conversations with Elderly Parents

Boomer Boot Camp #3

Having difficult conversaions with aging parentsIn today’s blog about getting your “Ducks in a Row” I want to address how to start uncomfortable conversations with elderly parents. This will not be easy, but it could help prevent your family members from having emotional meltdowns in hospital corridors over issues like tube feeding and life support and nasty battles over the distribution of money and property when a parent dies.

If you think your parents are vulnerable now or may be at some point in the future, it will be a lot less stressful for you, for your siblings and anyone else who cares about your parents if you can find out […]

2 03, 2015

Caring for Elderly Parents

Getting Prepared to Care for Elderly Parents

Ducks in a Row – Part 1

caring for elderly parentsIt’s upsetting and scary when we realize that our elderly parents are slipping and that we are going to have to get involved in managing their care. It’s even more frightening to realize that at some point our children may have to step in and help take care of us.

No one likes to think about incapacity and death, but due to advances in science and medicine, we’re living longer than ever before. When we are enjoying good health and financial security, age seems irrelevant, and we can almost believe we will live forever. But the truth is we’re still mortal, and eventually most of us will need […]

25 12, 2014

MIRACLE – Gift of Caregiving

Love – The Miracle Gift of Caregiving

Christmas message for caregiversChristmas is the season of miracles. Today children have awakened to find gifts from Santa. Volunteers have helped grant wishes by ringing bells and collecting food, clothing and toys. The generosity of those in a position to give has provided countless Christmas miracles for people in need. However, when money can’t fix a problem, miracles are more difficult to create. When we’re caring for someone who has run out of medical miracles, we have to look beyond the needs of the body. A friend whose husband had fought a long and arduous battle with cancer, wrote to me and said, “We prayed for him to get well. That didn’t happen, but he […]

11 07, 2014

– WITNESS –
Caregiver Word of the Day

IMG_1131Last night as we were headed home from a trip to Costco, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a car hit a bicyclist. I witnessed the moment of impact and saw the boy’s body fly through the air and land on the sidewalk. I quickly flipped the car around as Alex frantically dialed 911.

The boy’s name is Raul, and he’s 17 years old. I held his hand and tried to reassure him while I relayed information to the 911 dispatcher.

A woman came up and said, “I’m a nurse.” She checked Raul’s pulse. A man came up and said, “I have emergency medical training.” He took off his jacket and put it under the boy’s head. In less […]

3 07, 2014

– Grief #4 –
Caregiver Word of the Day

IMG_0993The third step in developing an attitude of creative indifference toward grief is ACTION. Before you implement an action plan, you need to know that there is no cure for grief. It is a process. You don’t get over it, but with time and effort you can get through it.

Over the course of the next several days, I will be writing about a variety of action steps that could be helpful. Today I’d like to start with suggesting you eliminate the words “normal”, “expectation” and “judgment” from your vocabulary for a while.

Wherever you are today, and whatever you are feeling right now is okay. Don’t set expectations for yourself. Don’t judge yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you what […]

29 06, 2014

– GRIP –
Caregiver Word of the Day

IMG_0956Our grandson works as an instructor in a rock climbing gym in Vancouver, Canada. He has scaled the sheer faces of rock formations all over the world. Recently he and his girlfriend Sarah took a trip to Yosemite National Park. Since they are both experts, they chose to start on a difficult climb.

It didn’t take long before they realized the rock in Yosemite was different from the surfaces with which they are familiar. Their equipment wasn’t perfectly suited to the environment, and fairly quickly they realized that their typical approach to climbing wasn’t going to work in this environment, so they quit.

I’m so proud of both of them for not letting their ego get in the way. They didn’t try to convince […]

25 06, 2014

– TERMS –
Caregiver Word of the Day

IMG_0968 2

In 1995 when Alex and I started talking about getting married, we were both aware that our age difference would eventually affect our quality of life. Wanting me to consider the future carefully, he warned, “We might only have ten good years.”

We were both aware from the very beginning that the clock was ticking, so we agreed that we would never look back and say, “We wish we would have done (fill in the blank) while we could.”

We will celebrate our 18th anniversary in September. We have both done meaningful work. We have traveled all over the world, and we have had marvelous adventures. We kept our promise to live our lives fully, and reflecting back, I have to say we […]

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