15 05, 2015

Caregiver Duty and Self-Care

Where Should You Draw the Line Between Caregiver Duty and Self-Care?

On a recent news broadcast there was a very touching story about a man who has been caring for his wife who has Alzheimer’s for the last ten years. The network promoted it as a “love story”, which it certainly was. It was also a tragic story.

The couple has been married for more than 50 years. Even though she doesn’t remember her husband’s name, she is aware that she doesn’t want anyone else in the house with her except him, and they don’t have the financial resources to pay for care in a long-term care community, He said loves her and he sees it as his duty to provide all of her […]

7 04, 2015

Caregiver Time Out

Give Yourself a Caregiver Time Out to Increase Energy and Reduce Stress

When my friend Jeanine asked, “How do I get through life like this?”, I said, “Give yourself a caregiver time out.” Jeanine’s husband had a stroke about a year-and-a-half ago. Since then she has focused all of her time and energy on caring for him. She is now beginning to feel like a prisoner in her own home.

I told her about my friend Julia whose husband had cancer. By submitting to one treatment after another, he had outlived his prognosis by more than three years. Julia had nursed him through all of the horrendous side effects, and one day she said, “I am done putting my life on […]

24 01, 2015

Caregiver Self-Care

Rest & Respite – The Key to Survival

Respite - Self Care for the Caregiver It isn’t always easy to focus on caregiver self-care, but if you’re going to be caregiving over an extended period of time, taking regular breaks and arranging for respite care could end up being the key to your survival.

I recently read that more people send negative tweets the Monday after New Years than any other day of the year. The reason may be that the holidays are over and people have gone back to work feeling like they have over-indulged and over-spent.

I tried to imagine what my mother would have thought about that article. I suspect she may have said, “Oh, poor baby. You’re feeling fat and broke. My […]

31 10, 2014

UNPLUG – Why Caregivers Need Respite

Caregivers need respite like they need air. It’s easy to get tied up in meeting the needs of care receivers and forget all about the importance of self care.

I’ve spent the last three weeks at my computer with my brain was tied up in knots. Yesterday morning I unplugged from from my work so Alex and I could accompany our three-year-old granddaughter on a pre-school field trip to a pumpkin patch. We witnessed her excitement on a hay-ride to an apple orchard and her glee as she picked an apple for each of us. We laughed as she lifted one pumpkin after another until she found the one that was […]

30 10, 2014

– FOCUS –
Caregiver Word of the Day

I grew up in Kansas, so I was hoping the Kansas City Royals would win the World Series. I was bummed! But this morning when I read the paper, I was truly impressed by a comment from the Giant’s left-handed pitcher, Madison Bumgarner. He said, “I wasn’t thinking about innings or pitch count. I was just thinking about getting outs, getting outs, until I couldn’t get them any more and we needed someone else.”

Granted, caregiving isn’t as exciting (or as high paying) as professional sports, but they are alike in that both jobs require a huge commitment of time, energy and dedication. They are also similar in that most of the time ball players and caregivers have to focus on […]

30 10, 2014

– HAPPY –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Writing about death and dying last week made me acutely aware of how much I enjoy living. I’ve been paying close attention to the things that create joy in my heart, and I’ve noticed it’s the small, everyday pleasures that make me happy.

When my little granddaughter wraps her arms around my neck and plants a big, wet kiss on my cheek, my heart swells. When I go to bed in a cold room and snuggle up with my husband under the warm covers, I feel safe and loved. When I clip the last rose of the season and bring it into the house so I can take a photo of it to share with […]

8 10, 2014

CENTER – Finding Your Center

What is the Center of Your Being

Red Flowers Finding your center can be the key to self-care for caregivers. For the next several days I am going to be writing about caregiver self-care. My goal through this series is to help you accept the idea that self-care is not selfish. If you can avoid becoming immersed in your care receiver’s needs, it’s less likely that you’ll lose track of who you are and what you need to do to maintain your own physical, mental, and emotional health.