27 06, 2016

Five Steps for Managing the Stress, Losses, and Challenges of Caregiving

managing caregiver stressThere are a tremendous number of stressful situations and heartbreaking losses that caregivers have to deal with as a loved one’s physical and cognitive abilities decline. You grieve the loss of who that person used to be and the relationship you once had with them. You fear how bad it’s going to get, how long it’s going to last and how much it’s going to cost. You struggle with feelings of anger, guilt, depression and grief.

In short, it is an incredibly difficult journey. In order to survive it, you must learn to take care of yourself emotionally as well as physically.

I recently wrote an article for RewireMe.com in which I list five strategies that can help you maintain your emotional […]

8 01, 2015

Letters from Madelyn Audiobook: Chapter 6

Letters from Madelyn – Chapter 6
“Oh Poop!”

Caregiver hanging on for life

Adapting to caregiving and all of the dreary tasks involved with caring for someone who can no longer care for himself can be extraordinarily difficult.

In this episode of “Letters from Madelyn”, after my father has struggled with uncontrollable diarrhea for more than three weeks, Madelyn realizes that she has to make some adjustments. She does several things that I have included on my list of Caregiver Survival Tips:

1. She comes up with a plan to make the house more handicap accessible

2. She releases her fear of the things over which she has no control when she decides to “Let go and let God”

3. She exercises regularly

4. She concentrates on developing her […]

25 12, 2014

MIRACLE – Gift of Caregiving

Love – The Miracle Gift of Caregiving

Christmas message for caregiversChristmas is the season of miracles. Today children have awakened to find gifts from Santa. Volunteers have helped grant wishes by ringing bells and collecting food, clothing and toys. The generosity of those in a position to give has provided countless Christmas miracles for people in need. However, when money can’t fix a problem, miracles are more difficult to create. When we’re caring for someone who has run out of medical miracles, we have to look beyond the needs of the body. A friend whose husband had fought a long and arduous battle with cancer, wrote to me and said, “We prayed for him to get well. That didn’t happen, but he […]

10 11, 2014

SIMPLIFY – Reduce Caregiver Stress

Simplify to Reduce Caregiver Stress

Simplify to Reduce Caregiver Stress Simplify to Reduce Caregiver Stress

While writing a number of blog posts about how to reduce caregiver stress, I discovered I needed to follow my own advice.

My 88-year-old Aunt Jean fell a few weeks ago and injured her knee, which has made it impossible for her to go to meals and participate in activities in her retirement facility. Since I can’t bear for her to be alone in her apartment all day, we are now going to see her daily instead of once or twice a week.

Although my husband is recovering from his back surgery, he still needs a lot of my time and attention. I promised to set aside […]

8 11, 2014

PRIORITIZE – to Reduce Caregiver Stress

Prioritize to Reduce Caregiver Stress

Prioritize to Reduce Caregiver Stress Organize Priorities to Reduce Stress
When you reduce caregiver stress, you stand a good chance of also reducing multi-tasker disasters like locking your keys in the car, missing important appointments, and frantically running from one room to the next looking for your phone, while completely forgetting that dinner is burning on the stove.

It happens when you occupy our hands with one task while at the same time occupying your mind with thoughts of everything else you need to do.

This time of year pressures increase, and if you are feeling stressed, take a deep breath. And then take another one. Give yourself a little time-out and then prioritize what needs […]

6 11, 2014

CHOOSE – Manage Caregiver Stress

How to Manage Caregiver Stress by Choosing Your Attitude

Manage stress by choosing attitude of Compassion As a caregiver, it helps to know that you can manage stress and reduce the likelihood of burnout when you realize you have the power to choose your attitude toward any person, situation or event.

After WWII, Dr. Viktor Frankl, who was a survivor of a Nazi Concentration Camp, wrote the book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”. The Nazi’s had taken Dr. Frankl’s family, his home and his business. All he had left when he arrived at Auschwitz was a suitcase in which he was carrying the manuscript of a book that he’d been writing for 10 years and the clothes on his back. They […]

25 10, 2014

Caregiver Help Word of the Day MAGNIFICENT

Caregiver Help photo of an Oregon waterfallLast night my husband and I attended a symphony concert. As I watched the musicians pull their bows across the violins, violas and bass instruments, it occurred to me that it’s the friction against the strings that creates the magnificent music. Without that tension and pressure, all of those instruments would just be pretty, silent wooden boxes.

Perhaps it’s the same with us. We would probably never know the extent of our strength, the depth of our love, or the true quality of our character if we lived a life free of trouble. In one letter my mother wrote while caring for my dad, she said, “I wouldn’t have wished this last five years on […]

18 10, 2014

– VALID –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Caregiver Help photoCaregivers tend to have unreasonable expectations of themselves. When we don’t feel patient, nurturing and kind, we judge ourselves harshly.

Caregiving exhausts a person physically, mentally and emotionally. The day-to-day monotony of it can leave us feeling sad and cheated. My mother often said, “My husband died on October 30, 1993. We just haven’t gotten around to burying him yet.” There were days when it was hard for her to remember who he had been before his stroke and days when it was hard for her to love the man he had become.

Having negative feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. If you are caring for a stroke survivor, someone with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or […]

13 01, 2013

Letters from Madelyn Audiobook: Chapter 11

Letters from Madelyn Audiobook: Chapter 11

Choose Our Attitude

Caregiver attitudeIn the early 1960‘s my mother read the book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”, by Dr. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp. About two years into his imprisonment at Auschwitz, Dr. Frankl realized that it wasn’t always the youngest, strongest, or healthiest people who survived. Obviously, no one has any defense against a gas chamber, but for those who were forced into hard labor in the camps, he noted that often attitude was the main difference in the people who survived and the people who didn’t.

There were two statements in that book that really resonated with Madelyn.  Dr. Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last […]

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