13 04, 2015

Caregiver Duties

Caregiver Duties – An Obligation or an Opportunity?

How do you view your caregiver responsibilities? Do you see your role as a caregiver as an obligation or do you see it as an opportunity?

I work with a young man who is the primary caregiver for his grandmother. They went through a stretch recently where she needed a lot of help. She had a series of health issues that resulted in three different hospital stays followed by numerous trips to the doctor’s office.

In the middle of responding to one crisis after another, he also managed the sale of her home and her move into a retirement community. He was happy that he could help her, but he was also angry and resentful that the […]

28 12, 2014

LIMITS – Reduce Caregiver Stress

Setting Limits in Order to Reduce Caregiver Stress

My mother was in very poor health when Dad suffered a debilitating stroke. While still in the hospital, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Dad told Mom he was concerned about the additional burden caring for him would put on her. She said, “Don’t worry. You have already prepaid your medical care with me.”

About three years later, she got upset with him because he wouldn’t do his exercises or much of anything else to contribute to his own care. In addition to being lazy, he was acting grumpy, fussy and demanding. Mom reached her limit one morning and said, “Do you remember when I said your care was prepaid? Well, guess what, Pal? You just overdrew your account, and you are now […]

27 12, 2014

PERSEVERE – Survival Strategy for Caregivers

Perseverance – a Survival Strategy
to help Caregivers Cope with Stress

A former student in our online caregiving class who works at an assisted living facility said he always asks his residents this question, “If there is one thing that you have learned in your life that has had the biggest impact on who you are today, what is it? And how do you recommend that I pursue this same thing?”

One resident’s comment had a profound impact on our student. He said, “Get back up. Even if you fall hard, get back up, because all there is in life is life, and it’s up to you to persevere and make it all you can.”

The late […]

25 12, 2014

MIRACLE – Gift of Caregiving

Love – The Miracle Gift of Caregiving

Christmas is the season of miracles. Today children have awakened to find gifts from Santa. Volunteers have helped grant wishes by ringing bells and collecting food, clothing and toys. The generosity of those in a position to give has provided countless Christmas miracles for people in need. However, when money can’t fix a problem, miracles are more difficult to create. When we’re caring for someone who has run out of medical miracles, we have to look beyond the needs of the body. A friend whose husband had fought a long and arduous battle with cancer, wrote to me and said, “We prayed for him to get well. That didn’t happen, but he […]

31 10, 2014

UNPLUG – Why Caregivers Need Respite

Caregivers need respite like they need air. It’s easy to get tied up in meeting the needs of care receivers and forget all about the importance of self care.

I’ve spent the last three weeks at my computer with my brain was tied up in knots. Yesterday morning I unplugged from from my work so Alex and I could accompany our three-year-old granddaughter on a pre-school field trip to a pumpkin patch. We witnessed her excitement on a hay-ride to an apple orchard and her glee as she picked an apple for each of us. We laughed as she lifted one pumpkin after another until she found the one that was […]

30 10, 2014

– FOCUS –
Caregiver Word of the Day

I grew up in Kansas, so I was hoping the Kansas City Royals would win the World Series. I was bummed! But this morning when I read the paper, I was truly impressed by a comment from the Giant’s left-handed pitcher, Madison Bumgarner. He said, “I wasn’t thinking about innings or pitch count. I was just thinking about getting outs, getting outs, until I couldn’t get them any more and we needed someone else.”

Granted, caregiving isn’t as exciting (or as high paying) as professional sports, but they are alike in that both jobs require a huge commitment of time, energy and dedication. They are also similar in that most of the time ball players and caregivers have to focus on […]

29 10, 2014

– VIEW –
Caregiver Word of the Day

We built our house on a hill so we could enjoy the view of the Willamette Valley and the Oregon Coastal Range. The first thing I do every morning is go to the window and check the view. During the summer months I have a tendency to declare, “Oh! What a beautiful morning!” Now that the winter rains have started, I tend to think, “Oh! What a lousy day!”

Yesterday it occurred to me that the trees and mountains don’t move. They are always gorgeous. The only thing that changes is the weather and my attitude toward it.

Today I hope you will take a few minutes to look deep into your heart. If you […]

27 10, 2014

– FLIP-SIDE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

I recently wrote a guest blog for Griswold Home Care about the flip-side of caregiving. If you’d like to read the entire article, click here: http://www.griswoldhomecare.com/blog/other-side-of-caregiving-what-its-like-to-receive-care/. If you’re short of time, here’s the cliff notes version of the last three paragraphs.

When someone we love is suffering we have to find the physical strength to meet their needs while also taking on tasks they used to handle when they were well. Frequently we have to do all of this when we are emotionally drained and bone-tired from lack of sleep. We have to summon the will to continue to love them when pain, disease, depression or dementia causes them to act in a manner that isn’t […]

25 10, 2014

Caregiver Help Word of the Day MAGNIFICENT

Last night my husband and I attended a symphony concert. As I watched the musicians pull their bows across the violins, violas and bass instruments, it occurred to me that it’s the friction against the strings that creates the magnificent music. Without that tension and pressure, all of those instruments would just be pretty, silent wooden boxes.

Perhaps it’s the same with us. We would probably never know the extent of our strength, the depth of our love, or the true quality of our character if we lived a life free of trouble. In one letter my mother wrote while caring for my dad, she said, “I wouldn’t have wished this last five years on […]

23 10, 2014

– GRACE –
Caregiver Word of the Day

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories and support yesterday. Today I want to tell you about my beautiful, intelligent gentle friend Grace.

She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about two years ago. The doctor told her with aggressive chemotherapy she might have a year. About nine months into it the doctor said the treatment wasn’t working and he wanted to try something else that might give her a few extra months. Grace said “No thank you. I love my life, but I’m not afraid of death. I’m done.”

She called her best friend Lani, shared the news and said, “I’d like to have a party as soon as possible.” That was Monday. On […]

Caregiver Duties – An Obligation or an Opportunity?

Perseverance – a Survival Strategy to help Caregivers Cope with Stress

Love – The Miracle Gift of Caregiving

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Perseverance – a Survival Strategy
to help Caregivers Cope with Stress